Emo Lexus

The other day, while driving between lessons, I was feeling exceptionally nice and, against my better judgment, made room for a Lexus to move into my lane. We were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, and his lane was blocked, so I let him in.

About 13 seconds after the Lexus settled into my lane, a van drove up beside it and indicated that he too would like to get into our lane, preferably, in front of the Lexus. Immediately, I realized that this person must be new to downtown driving and is obviously unfamiliar with expensive-car drivers. Lexus drivers, like their Mercedes and BMW cousins, do not "let people in"; it goes against their principles.

The van inched toward the front of the Lexus, the Lexus did not budge. The van inched closer, the Lexus held its position. The van came in closer still, the Lexus moved away by an inch and started honking in a manner that suggested: "How dare you? Do you not know who I am?" The van seemed confused, the Lexus continued on blocking him for several more feet; we were moving at a snails pace so "feet" seemed like eternity.

Eventually, the obstruction in front of the van cleared. The van, although still confused, went on its merry way; the Lexus, it turned out, needed to get back into the now free lane. Unfortunately for him, all of the affordable-car drivers that were stuck behind the van, observing, now felt the need to block the Lexus for being an asshole. The Lexus had to wait until the whoooooole lane cleared before he could go. He even started inching toward the affordable cars to show them that he was in dear need of getting into their lane; this, however, only made them move closer together to make sure the Lexus had absolutely no room to get in.

I was stuck behind the Lexus, but, seeing the revenge unfold in front of my eyes, made the whole experience well worth it.